


Lessons Learned

by withoutthetiger



Category: Castle
Genre: Anal Sex, Kink Meme, Light Bondage, Sex Toys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-10
Updated: 2014-08-10
Packaged: 2018-02-12 12:31:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2110032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/withoutthetiger/pseuds/withoutthetiger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Before there was a writer and his muse, there was a training officer and his rookie.  What happened all those years ago and how did it change Kate Beckett?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lessons Learned

The first time she met him, she knew she’d end up in his bed. Admittedly, it wasn’t much of a stretch given how many different beds she ended up in during those days, her darkness methodically seeking something lighter. Still, the fact that he was her training officer should have stopped her, or at least slowed her down. It didn’t.

She knew she was fucked up, shedding her clothes and her dignity in an attempt to crawl out from under the weight of her mother’s death. Shrinks would have had so much fun with her, staring over their files and shaking their heads, but she refused to sit under their judgmental glare as she recited the cliché about needing to feel something. The satisfaction was always temporary, of course, the shroud dropped over her each morning, but she hadn’t stopped chasing the chance for a touch that might last more than a few hours. And she really thought Mike Royce could give it to her.

Unfortunately, it was her mother’s death that kept him from crossing that line. With other men, it was so easy; flash a brilliant smile, bite a lip, look up through lowered eyelashes, then get drunk and naked as quickly as possible. None of them asked questions and she didn’t offer answers. Royce, however, knew too much from the moment they were introduced, having already learned about his trainee’s tragedy, her damaged soul. She supposed he confirmed it when he looked into her eyes, the flecks of color shaded with more experience than she should have had. Her normal charm couldn’t overcome her transparency, and he held her back, remaining her mentor and nothing more.

It took them much longer to actually talk about her past. They spent months just working their asses off, and she greedily accepted any lessons he could offer. There were coffee-filled shifts and silent goodbyes after long days; even when they’d share a greasy meal or a cold beer, they shared little else. It was all about the job. She had reasons for needing to succeed.

When he finally asked about her past, she was caught off-guard, blurting out more than she had with anyone else. She regained control quickly, but she knew he’d heard enough to pursue the rest of the story. The same tenacity that made him a great cop was going to make him work his way past her defenses. Her most natural response was to attempt the same seduction that he’d ignored so long ago, but he still resisted, simply nudging her to open up something more personal than her legs.

By the time they’d been working together for a year, he knew everything. During her shifts she was as focused as she had been the day she graduated the academy, absorbing anything that could make her a better officer, get her promoted. When they left the precinct, he did the absorbing, listening to her shaky admissions of guilt and regret, her bold confessions of hunger for justice. Surprisingly, he didn’t try to talk her out of any of it, didn’t try to convince her that her obsession wasn’t what her mother would want for her. He just listened. It’s probably why she kept talking.

There was nothing strange about the night they ended up at her apartment, drinking beers on her couch and bullshitting about the day; it was something they’d done a dozen times before. They laughed, cursed, and she let her finger trail down the front of his shirt, the flirtation meaningless with a man who had kept her at arm’s length for so long.

Or so she thought.

His calloused hand wrapped hers up in an instant, holding it against his chest as she stared at him, shocked by the contact. Her surprise made her pliant and he used the moment to pull her toward him, his mouth open against hers before she fully registered what was happening. _Finally happening_.

She switched to autopilot; this was what she knew better than anything, better than being a cop even. No words nor thoughts would be necessary. The physical side of her could bury the rest in an instant. She climbed into his lap, bracketing his hips with her legs and kissing him without hesitation. Her breasts were pressed against him as she rolled her lower body forward, looking for the friction that would serve to work both of them into a frenzy.

Ignoring his shirt completely, she reached lower, unbuttoning his pants and tugging on the zipper, eager to feel him in her hand. He met her there, pulling her away just as insistently and holding onto her wrists. Though it probably wasn’t meant that way, the restraint was a huge turn on for her.

“Please, Royce. I’ve needed this for so long. I need you to fuck me.”

He released her hands and gripped her waist instead, standing up as if she weighed nothing at all, her legs folded around him as he began to walk them to her bedroom. They continued to kiss until the moment he laid her down in the middle of the bed, both of them breathless. He leaned over her, sucking briefly on her neck before whispering in her ear.

“I’m not going to fuck you tonight. You need to learn that you’ve got more options than that. You’ve got to learn what you really want, what you deserve.”

She opened her mouth to protest, but he silenced her with a quick kiss. When he pulled away to look at her, he spoke again, just as seriously.

“It’s been so easy for you to get men into bed, but then what? Drunk, emotionless sex where they get theirs and you have to take care of yourself along the way? A sweaty encounter where they enjoy your body and you think you feel alive? That’s not how it’s supposed to be, kid.” He kissed her again. “You should know how it’s supposed to be.”

All she could do was nod up at him, so used to his guidance and believing somewhere deep inside that this lesson might be worth it. She sat up long enough for him to peel her shirt from her body, to unclasp the simple cotton bra underneath. When he lowered her back down, she felt him unfasten her pants, removing them slowly and letting the slow drag of the material tease her already sensitive skin. He tossed his own shirt to the floor, but while his pants were still unbuttoned, he left them in place when he crawled over her again. Lowering himself to her, she felt the welcome press of his warm body, sinking her further into the mattress and hinting at the power he kept contained.

When he kissed her once more, it was nothing more than the starting point of a long journey. His lips followed the graceful line of her neck, his tongue darting out to taste her from time to time. He sucked gently at her collarbone, then moved toward her breasts, cupping one while taking the nipple of the other into his mouth. She was stunned to find him completely aware of what she wanted, his pace and pressure adjusting easily to each sound she made. He was in no real hurry, but eventually moved to the other side, careful to give it as much warmth and attention.

After skating over her stomach, he propped himself up on one elbow and looked up at her as he pressed his fingers against the dampness of her panties. "How do you like to be touched?"

It was such a simple question, but she froze. Nobody had ever asked her that before. And, of course, when she touched herself, she just did whatever felt right and didn't stop to think about it. Obviously, her wide eyes gave her away, because Royce nodded and slid the panties off, leaving her completely bare before him. He took one of her hands and brought it between her legs, then gently pushed his own hand underneath hers.

“Show me.”

God, it already felt so good, just having the warmth of his fingers there, knowing he could feel how wet she was. She was still nervous about taking things so slowly; it just wasn’t something she’d experienced, being with someone who paid close attention to her. There was no question that she wanted this to happen, so she guided his fingers from her opening up to her clit, the slickness making it easy. She pressed him against her clit, moving their fingertips back and forth several times, then lowered them again so that she could help push two of his fingers inside her.

Neither of them said anything, but she gripped his wrist and used his hand to thrust deeper, speeding up and giving her body just some of what it was craving. Every so often, she’d pull him back and make him rub her clit again, but then she’d need him inside her, so she’d force him back into her clenching pussy. As she got more worked up, she found a few words, just enough to make a demand.

“Press your thumb against my clit while you’re still inside me. I need both.”

He kept his eyes on her face when he did as she requested. Her hand was still lightly covering his, the hint of control more erotic than she had expected, and she felt her orgasm build, her body tightening. It was intimidating, maintaining eye contact with him, but he hadn’t steered her wrong in the past year and there was no way he’d let her down now.

With that knowledge, she came hard, contracting around his fingers and arching her hips in an attempt to get firmer contact against her clit. He knew exactly what he was doing, of course, and continued the slow slide of his fingers as the tremors cascaded through her body. Her keening was countered by his quiet encouragement, and she allowed herself to ride out the climax under his close watch.

As her focus returned, she expected to see him crawl over her, ready for his turn now that he had taken care of her. Instead, he lifted himself from her side and positioned his head between her legs, breathing against her skin. She knew she was still wet, could feel the way the moisture cooled in contrast to the warm air from his mouth, and she shivered. He wasn’t done with her yet and she could barely wrap her mind around it.

Royce started at her inner thighs, licking and biting the tender skin, pausing only to gauge her reactions to the range of sensations. He nuzzled against her center, subtly inhaling her scent, and she found herself too turned on to be self-conscious. Before he moved in to give her even more, he looked over the horizon of her stomach and smiled.

“My mouth is going to be busy down here, so I won’t be able to ask you what you want. You’re going to have to tell me. Just talk to me.”

He didn’t wait for a response, choosing to drag his tongue over her once before feasting more hungrily, exploring like no one else had. It was overwhelming, both physically and emotionally, so she took a deep breath and spoke up, palming the back of his head with her hand.

“Slow down a little. It feels so good, but I want you to be soft at first. Make me need more. Make me ask for it.” Her voice felt foreign to her. It was probably the most coherent thing she’d ever said in bed; she usually stuck to a random mess of expletives, pleas, and invocations.

While there was no obvious acknowledgment of her request, she felt the change in pace immediately. He used the tip of his tongue to tease her, finding each crevice that made her squirm beneath him, then backing away to kiss her inner thighs again. When he finally took her clit between his lips, suckling there with the perfect amount of pressure, she arched toward him. He simply draped his arm across her waist in response, keeping her still.

"Yes, that's amazing. Just keep going."

She felt herself getting increasingly closer to another orgasm, but he was following her directions and taking his time, leaving her clit to lick at her opening or nip at any of the surrounding skin begging for attention. Her writhing was beyond her control and it was time to let go.

“Go back to my clit and make me come. Use your lips and tongue like you did when you sucked it a minute ago. Please, I want to come.”

Though she was certain that he wasn’t always cooperative in bed, especially being someone who liked to wield control, he chose to reward her for her honesty and quickly did as she asked. He took her back between his lips and sucked earnestly, burying his face against her without hesitation. And she shattered.

Her body convulsed and she was quite blatantly riding his mouth, too lost in the moment to worry about the volume of her cries. Royce didn't seem to care, moving with her body, letting her fall over and over again. As with everything else in their partnership, he knew when he'd pushed enough and backed away, wiping his face as he observed her trembling body.

She reached out her hand to bring him to her, but he climbed off the bed first, finally removing his pants and boxers. Then he lowered himself to her, his body aligned with hers, their mouths meeting once again. Between the taste of herself on his tongue and the feeling of his cock pressed against her center, she knew she was ready for more. She must have whispered it aloud, because he responded just as softly.

"Yes, more." He nudged her legs further apart with his knee, then entered her on one long stroke. "But even this can still be about you. Always remember that."

And then he showed her how. After thrusting just a few times, he grabbed a pillow and eased it under her hips, changing the angle and strumming perfectly against her. When he adjusted the position of their legs, pushing hers closer together as he straddled her; leaning back down had him rubbing her clit on each forward slide. Later, he rolled her onto her stomach, entering her from behind while pressing her down into the mattress; each time he rocked his hips into her, she could feel the incredible tightness and simultaneously get herself off by grinding into the bed.

Truthfully, none of it was rocket science. There were no awkward balancing acts, no need to be double-jointed, nothing that looked particularly out of the ordinary. Still, it was incredible to have someone guide her through each position with her needs in mind. There wasn’t really anything _wrong_ with the sex she’d had a million times before, but she supposed carelessness and desperation didn’t lead to the way she was now being handled by the man who had already taught her so much. In Royce’s arms, she mattered.

They were sweaty and breathless by the time he moved onto his back, encouraging her to be on top and take control until they were both spent. She rode him confidently, her body moving with ease, a dance she’d done for years. His hands rested lightly on her hips, but he didn’t try to do anything more until she reached for her own clit, ready to come one final time. 

He dragged her hand out of the way, replacing it with his fingers instead. “Let me.”

Nodding with relief, she leaned forward and braced herself on his chest. She sped up, sloppy with need, and let him bring her to a gasping climax. He thrust upward to meet her clenching muscles, even as she was losing the ability to move; he finally stopped worrying about her and took what he needed for his own release. His loud groan let her know that he was there, and she let herself collapse against him, their heartbeats erratic and their bodies sated.

Her mentor, in more ways than she could have imagined, had given her another valuable lesson. Little did she know that there was so much more to learn.

*****

It took a few weeks before they ended up at her apartment again. Fortunately, nothing had been awkward between them after that first night together, both of them falling into their work and unconcerned about addressing anything terribly personal. She considered leaving it alone entirely, but when Royce suggested keeping her company after a long shift, she smiled shyly and accepted the offer.

When he arrived, they spent a while eating takeout and watching mindless television, neither of them in a rush to make a move. She began to second-guess his intentions and got restless, cleaning up their dinner and trying hard not to pace in her tiny kitchen.

"You okay, kid?"

She looked up, startled at his presence beside her. "I'm good. Just putting things away."

He laughed, experienced eyes seeing right through her, as usual. Taking her hand, he led her to her own bedroom, only pausing to kiss her when they reached her bed. She got lost in him for a moment, the warm insistence of his tongue, the roughness of his hands on her skin. Knowing how good it was the last time, her body responded naturally, open and wet for him, and she couldn't help but moan into his mouth.

They managed to get naked quickly, some combination of helping each other and taking care of themselves. There was a second when she thought he might be ready for something quick and dirty, and she wasn't sure if she was comforted or disappointed by that idea. It didn't matter; he dismissed her thought with a simple question.

"Mind if we try something a little different this time?" 

He was mumbling against her, his lips trailing down the side of her neck, and she answered with a whisper. 

"Where you lead, I follow."

Royce motioned for her to lie down and he walked around to her nightstand drawer, opening it up and perusing her small collection of toys. Fuck. What the hell did he have planned?

"Has any man ever used these on you, or have these all been part of a solo act?"

Far past embarrassment and practically bathing in arousal, she stammered over her response. "Um, just solo."

His nod gave away his lack of surprise, and she was intrigued by whatever was about to happen. She was completely comfortable with masturbating, of course, but she always figured men would be bothered if she brought out a dildo during sex. And the idea of him using them on her? She’d be lying if she said the thought didn’t turn her on, but it would require giving up more control, and that was always a challenge. Still, she trusted him implicitly.

So, she let go.

And it was worth it.

He started with a more passive role, choosing to fuck her with her rabbit first. She writhed on the bed, her legs spread wide while her pussy wept around the toy. Her silent screams did nothing to slow him down, as he pushed her limits, leaving her gasping for air and gripping the sheets in a desperate attempt to ground herself.

Once she had recovered, Royce taught her how to use her silver bullet on him, teasing his shaft and stimulating his prostate. Adding those vibrations as she sucked on his cock was powerful and had her humming with him deep in her mouth, but he made her stop before either of them got carried away.

Eventually he had her on her hands and knees in front of him, begging him to fill her up. While he complied relatively quickly, slamming into her from behind and holding his cock tight inside her, he also reached around with the bullet, letting it work against her clit. There was no way they’d last long and they both knew it, getting reckless and loud right away. He fucked her enthusiastically, one hand bruising on her hip as the other held the toy in place; she thrust back against him until her entire body contracted and she came hard. She’d barely stopped when he dropped the bullet and let himself spill inside her.

They fell to the bed, satisfied and exhausted. It had been another amazing night.

*****

There was no pretense when he invited her to his apartment the following week. No takeout dinner, no sitting on the couch as if they were hesitant teenagers. This time, they barely made it through his front door before clothes were tossed aside and teeth and fingernails left marks. She wondered if they’d even make it to his bedroom.

It wasn’t a question for long. Royce tugged her down the hall, even as they both collided with walls, furniture, and each other. He pulled her hair and exposed her neck, licking his way up to her ear before he spoke.

“I want you so fucking much right now.”

His words sent a shiver through her body and she clung to him, pressing her hips into his. She let go long enough to crawl backward into his bed, then pulled him down on top of her, kissing and clawing. They stayed there for a while, grinding against each other, his cock rubbing against her center, moans probably louder than they should have been before any actual fucking happened. 

He finally stopped to look at her, serious for just a moment. “Do you trust me?”

“Of course.”

Really, it was an odd concern to have at this point, but she could tell he needed the reassurance before he did anything else. Still, with her chest heaving and arousal burning her skin, there wasn’t much she wouldn’t have given him. She wanted him, the sooner the better.

With his legs still tangled in hers, he leaned over the side of the bed and pulled something from underneath it. Actually, a couple of somethings.

Two black leather restraints.

She stared at him, still breathless, as he attached them to the headboard just before gently fastening them around her wrists. He didn’t say a word, but kissed her lazily, assuaging any anxiety she might have felt from being bound and helpless. It was such a change from the hurried pace of minutes ago. When he broke away again, he slipped a blindfold over her eyes, cradling her head once it was in place and kissing her one more time.

And so the exquisite torture commenced. He started at her neck, sucking at the exact points that made her squirm, discovered on their first night together and apparently committed to memory. After dragging his mouth across her collarbone, he swung upward to her arms, the sensitive undersides exposed to him. For a part of her body that she hadn’t really thought of as erotic, his attention there was making her desperate for so much more.

Given how eager he was to bring her into his bed, naked and wanting, he was incredibly patient as he worked over her entire body. And contrary to the roughness suggested by the black leather of her restraints, Royce was handling her with such tenderness that she thought she might break from the emotion alone. Being so vulnerable and letting him do anything he wanted, while he did nothing but take the time to please her, was unbelievably intense, and she was honestly stuck between wanting to cry and wanting to come.

He suckled at her breasts, bit at the thin skin near her hips. He caressed her ankles, then trailed a fingertip up her leg until he could tease the back of her knee, chasing his hand away with a kiss. For several minutes, he was everywhere at once, but it was never quite enough. She began to beg.

When he spread her legs and brought his mouth down to taste her, she inhaled sharply, following with an exhalation of relief. She wished she could break free from the restraints, hold his head to her, but he seemed to understand regardless. He’d taken enough time to build her up; he was ready to make her fall.

Her thighs closed viciously around his head when she came, juices almost certainly coating his tongue as he did his best to lap at her opening. She was still bucking against him when he pried himself loose and crawled on top of her, driving his cock into her before she’d even come down from the orgasm, her muscles still fluttering in response. Done with everything gentle, he fucked her into the mattress and she wrapped her legs around him, the only control she had.

All the grunting, groaning, encouraging, and demanding ended in violent climaxes for both of them. She knew hers was borne of the heightened awareness coming from leather and blindfolds; she supposed his was a result of carefully controlled power. Whatever it was, she’d just learned more about herself, more about what she could be in the bedroom.

*****

Over the next couple of months, they followed each other home several times, delighting in all the ways she had become more confident, more aware of her own sexuality. There was no need for drunken one-night stands, not when she had someone treating her like she was worth so much more. He still taught her, some lessons more obvious than others, but there was one specific thing she requested from him, something she wanted to try.

When he arrived at her apartment, she’d already had a couple of beers, knowing she had to relax. Not surprisingly, he sensed her nervousness and enveloped her in a hug, kissing her neck as he held her close. She let her heartbeat sync with his, then gripped his hand in hers and walked them into her room, settling on the bed right away. He settled over her, still holding her hand, and breathed softy against her mouth.

“There’s no rush tonight.”

“I know, but it’s all I’ve been able to think about today. I want it so much. I want _you_ so much.” Admitting any of that was difficult for her, especially anything that hinted at her feelings for him. They’d tiptoed around the subject entirely.

He acknowledged her with nothing more than a quick nod, then began undressing her as they continued to kiss. Once she was completely naked, nipples taut and pussy wet with anticipation, he stood up and removed his own clothes. She smiled when she noticed that he was just as ready for this. His hand came to rest at her hip and he prodded her to roll onto her stomach.

She couldn’t help but press her hips into the mattress while he got what he needed from her nightstand, wanting the contact against her clit. When he returned to her side, he rubbed her ass and her lower back, relaxing her even as he encouraged her to continue grinding on the bed.

Eventually, he nudged her legs apart and slid two fingers deep into her pussy, massaging her there. He had been serious about going slow, easing back and forth with no hurry at all, letting her rock into him when she wanted more. It felt so good and she had no idea how long they stayed like that, simply intimate. 

When he finally pulled his hand away, she heard the click of a bottle top and automatically tensed. Apparently, he noticed.

“We can stop whenever you want. You’re in control here.”

She knew it, but welcomed the reassurance, turning her head to offer him a whispered response. “Please don’t stop.”

He returned to her ass and spread her apart, baring her tight hole to him. She felt the cold lube drip onto her a moment later, glad to note that he wasn’t using it sparingly. The bottle was tossed aside just before his finger touched against her, doing nothing but rubbing the lube over the puckered skin and getting her used to the feeling. It was different, but not unpleasant.

Then Royce eased a fingertip into her, probably only to the first knuckle, but it was intense. She took a deep breath and forced herself to sound sure when she asked him for more. He did as she asked, sliding his finger forward and carefully working her as he moved in and out. He didn’t slow when he added more lube, just maintained the same pressure and smoothly added a second finger. It was hard to describe exactly how she felt; she was somewhat uncomfortable, but more carnally aroused than ever before.

His fingers began to stretch her, even as they continued to move back and forth, and she moaned in response. She raised off the bed and supported herself on her hands and knees, pushing backward into his hand. Then she reached between her legs and began to rub circles against her clit, not enough to get herself off, but enough to keep her pussy perfectly teased. Finding herself even wetter than she expected, she groaned and let a couple of fingers slip inside.

It wasn’t long before he withdrew his hand, leaving her empty and more desperate than she thought possible. Pure desire was raging, overshadowing coherent thought and earlier hesitation. She needed him, but a weak cry was all she could manage.

Another click of the bottle let her know that he was on the same page, so she simply stroked her pussy as she waited. When he positioned himself behind her, he quickly slid his fingers back into her ass one more time, then replaced them with the tip of his cock, eager for the heat she could offer. He rocked forward, but she tensed again.

Holding himself still, he caressed her back with his free hand. “Take a deep breath and then push out against me.”

It seemed counterintuitive, but she did exactly that and felt him ease into her. She couldn’t deny that it was somewhat painful, but her endorphins served her well and heightened her pleasure at the same time. Royce was careful, following her lead. When she wiggled just a bit, he took that as his cue to fill her completely, pressing his hips into the curve of her ass.

The hand that had quieted between her legs got busy again, the wet sound of her fingers spurring her on even more. The sensation was incredible; the power she felt took her by surprise, and she thrust into him to let him know she was okay. Much better than okay, really. From there, he steadily sped up, both of them getting louder in response.

She was overwhelmed, intoxicated, and ready to come with his cock buried in her ass. Unable to find the words to tell him so, she simply let her fingers work against her clit while he abandoned his self-control and pumped into her energetically, reading her as well as he always had. Her orgasm hit hard, freezing her in place while he fucked her; he couldn’t hold out much longer, spurting uncontrollably in response to the tightened grip around him.

It took a while for either of them to move, but he finally let himself slip from her body and she fell forward onto the bed. They said nothing, words unnecessary, even as they eventually cleaned up and crawled back together. He took her hand in his and squeezed it once, and she just smiled into the darkness.

*****

They shared another handful of nights together over the next month, always ending up tangled and sated, three words dancing in her mouth and becoming more insistent each time he held her against his heart. It wouldn’t be long before she’d admit what she’d come to feel, something far stronger than her adoration for him as a mentor. Until then, she continued to blanket herself in the confidence she’d gained.

Everything changed the day she showed up for her shift at the precinct and found that she’d been assigned a new partner, told that Mike Royce had chosen to use up the rest of his vacation time before an abrupt retirement from the force. Her head spun and she had to choke back the nausea threatening to bring her to her knees. She pushed her feelings aside, going through the motions until she could get home again.

That night, she barely made it through the door of her apartment before she dropped to the floor and sobbed. He’d left her, just as surely as her mother had been stabbed and her father had fallen into a bottle. She’d been stripped down and laid bare, and the final lesson she learned from Royce was that it wasn’t worth it at all.

She didn’t change her mind until she clung to the side of a building…many, many years later.

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the Winter Hiatus '13 Kink Meme Prompt: "before castle there was royce. older and wiser, he works his way in with a grief stricken beckett before she gets him to fuck her. a few wild exploits, maybe some firsts for beckett.”


End file.
